Tuesday, January 30, 2007

The tricky business of being divorced...

My daughter turns 16 next Monday :)
She's the light of my life.
In a couple weeks, during school vacation, I'm taking her and her two bestfriends shopping and to a special dinner down by the shore. This is what she chose for a birthday outing.
All the other kids at school are having big bashes at a hall with D.J.'s for their Sweet 16.
She doesn't like to copy.
This Sunday she has religious education from 9:00 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. as prep to her upcoming confirmation.
While she is at church the immediate family is coming over and waiting for her to arrive. She has no idea. We will have our family party. Family includes Grandma and Grandpa (my parents), my sister and her beau and her daughter. I also asked her two best girlfriends and another very good friend of hers to come over and join us. They were delighted.
I asked my ex if he and his mom would like to come. I wanted it to be special - it is her 16th! I want her to be happy and have all of her family there.
He was not intending on bringing his girlfriend. I asked, "She won't mind?"
He said no. This could mean many things...like he wouldn't tell her or she's working or he just wants to come see his daughter on her birthday and is uncomfortable bringing her to "our" old house.
It seemed to work out (and this was only yesterday) because my beau was supposed to go to Vermont for the weekend.
But, now he's not. Plans changed.
So when I was talking to the ex I let him know that my beau would be there this weekend.
And now, he's not coming. He also blurted out, "It's me or him, pick!" Now he doesn't mean this in a romantic way but simply that I should pick who's coming. I said I wouldn't do that. That I'm having a party for my daughter's birthday and he and his mom are welcome and I'm not going to tell my beau he can't come. He did say, "Nothing against the guy, I like him, but it makes me uncomfortable."
Which I totally understand.
I feel badly but I don't feel guilty. It's his choice. I thought it big of me to invite them as it's not the most comfortable thing for me either. But I wanted to include everyone for MY DAUGHTER!
Anyway, he hung up on me. We didn't have angry words. He sounded more hurt which is what bothered me. BUT, I can't let him rule me - I'm free of that now!
He never did it in an obvious way, at all. But in hindsight he was quite good at manipulating me.
Anyway, all I can say is that I hope he changes his mind and comes.
If not, then I hope he has a celebration of his own with his mom and girlfriend and my kid.


At February 02, 2007 4:38 PM , Blogger .... meow >^^ said...

it sounds like a grand way to celebrate. Mine chose spending the day with grandparents [to their glee], oddly, said all the kids can do something goofy in the summer. [does she want something or do miracles happen]


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