HNT - Shower Boobs

HNT #9

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"100 Things About Me!"

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My co-worker who hurt my feelings a couple weeks ago called me today as if nothing happened and then caught me off guard by saying "I hope we're still friends because I love you too much." Well, the light bulb went on. He's done or said things before and then came back a couple days later with this same blanket statement. I said "of course" however, my true feelings are that I felt completely betrayed by his behavior and would never consider being personal friends with him. I don't feel he is genuine but can't figure him out. I considered talking with him about the episode that occurred a couple weeks ago but don't feel that there is any benefit to having that conversation because he has never apologized and I don't believe he will. I think this individual just likes to "stir the pot" at work as a past-time. So I will continue to be pleasant and have a working relationship but don't want to have conversations about our personal lives or talk about other people or anything that doesn't have to do with our work.

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I bought a washer and dryer last night! Yeah! Very happy with my choices. I could have had the set delivered as soon as this weekend but opted for them to come right after Thanksgiving as I have way too much going on.

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Which brings me to my ex. He has been so sweet lately I can't figure it out. Outwardly, verbally sweet towards me. He's not the most emotionally verbal guy! Let's start with Sunday when he called to say he'd be over to bring me a check (child support). He came over, brought me a coffee (?) and asked me if I'd help him balance his checkbook. Well flashback! He doesn't write things down in the checkbook which screws him all up. But I helped, gave him tips and he left. He hadn't been feeling well and spent the day in bed on Saturday. Monday at work I receive a call from him asking if I'd do him a big favor and call his doctor and make him an appointment. He felt dizzy and found a lump under his armpit when he showered that morning. So he's working at Yale University on construction and I know from history it's difficult to make calls from that kind of job if you can even get cell phone reception from the bowels of Yale. So I don't ask WHY I get this task (and not the girlfriend), but I make the call for him.

I get the nurse and am using my words very carefully simply saying I'm trying to make an appointment for Brian. She asks me his symptoms and I say, "dizzy and lump under armpit." Well, of course, she asks for other symptoms and I say "I don't know." She asks, "Are you Mrs. B." Now I'm "dying" because I really don't want to explain my relationship to him especially when you sit in a cubicle with a bunch of people surrounding you, so I simply say, "yes." I could feel the poor girl's frustration with me and ask her to hold and conference call him in and say "YOU need to talk to this girl" and explain to him that since I patched her through I can't hang up and that I'll listen in. So I connect them and he tells her all his symptoms and gets an appointment for that afternoon. She hangs up and I ask him, "Why did I get this task?"

He answers, "You don't think Judy will call for me do you? She slammed the door on me this morning while I was 'coughing up a lung' because I was disturbing her. When I got to work and told Greg (friend) he said 'Regina would have never done that to you, she would have taken care of you and called the doctor.' and I told him I know she would have." So I say, "So now you appreciate me." He says, "Now I appreciate you."

Men!

So we hang up. I don't feel better by obtaining this information - it just makes me feel worse. I'm thinking "Dumb ass!"

So now it's Wednesday and I'm still at work at 4:10pm. The ex calls me but has an urgency in his voice. So I ask "Is there something wrong?" He says no and asks me how much the washer and dryer cost me. I explain that I gave a $100 deposit and tell him what I owe when they deliver it. He says, "I'm working on a side job and should make good money. I want to give you a couple hundred dollars towards the dryer and help out." I'm shocked and am practically speechless but utter, "Thank you." He adds, "Gotta keep the kid's clothes clean." So although this is nice and generous I'll really believe it when it happens. I've always said, about him, he has every good intention but just isn't that reliable although I'd like to believe he would come through this time. Not because I want his money but because it would restore my faith in him.

I really don't know what to make of him lately although I enjoy that we're getting along. I have a child with him and we both have incredibly small families and I consider him my family. Because when all is said and done and our parents are gone, we really only have each other and my daughter, and my sister and niece. THAT IS IT!

Addendum: I've never taken advantage of my husband during our marriage of 18 years. I've never asked him for money or material things during the marriage and only asked when my check was coming when he was late paying child support. I never ask for financial help as I know I'll always manage, somehow.

It's not a full moon but my co-worker trying to warm up to me and my ex being so kind is slightly freaking me out! I will just be quiet and watch it all unfold because history tells me that things change constantly and can be going one way today and make a total turn-a-round tomorrow.

The ex received antibiotics and is feeling better. The lump is nothing but a cyst, probably from working at the dirty job at Yale.