Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Two weeks today

I couldn't visit my father last night. After the day before I desperately needed a break as it was difficult to watch him, knowing he was in pain from the bronchitis but still with tubes down his throat, looking sad and being feisty. He tried to jump out of bed a few times. Yesterday they sedated him to give him rest as he had done so much the day before and was having trouble breathing because of the bronchitis and the the "gunk" that comes along with it.

My daughter had a concert at school last night so I went to that. Knowing it would be a long night, I took my own car and told her I wouldn't stay all the way to the end. We went for 6:30pm and I watched her sing, and knew she'd sing again later on but left at 7:50pm. I told her ahead of time that she's wonderful and everything but I wasn't going to miss American Idol! She laughed. She knows I'm exhausted. She didn't get home until after 9pm.

I drop mom off at the hospital every morning before 7:30am on my way into work. I just called my sister who works in the medical building attached to the hospital and asked how he was doing today. She said he was able to verbalize (with the tubes in) "help me." Ugh! It's going to be another rough night visiting. I think this is the hardest part knowing he's aware and that the tubes in the throat along with tracheal bronchitis are hurting him.

I head over after work and we stay until about 7:30pm. Then I drive mom home and we do this every day. It's not physically exhausting but it is emotionally exhausting.

He is making progress however. And I keep reminding myself of that.


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