The year blew by quickly, and at times seemed frozen in time, as dad's hospital stay took up most of the year and our time from April 24th through the week before Christmas! It tested everyone's mettle. All in all I'd say we did okay.
Everything this past year felt like the last time of everything for me because for me it all revolves around my daughter being a senior in high school and it's the last time we will do all these things. The last homecoming, the last prom, the last winter concert...etc. Possibly our last Christmas in this house. I need to see what I will do come the end of her school year. If I will stay in the house where we built all the memories or move on.
Moving on..........
The ex and I have become even closer friends this year. He called me last evening just to chat. I usually don't get too warm and fuzzy about it but I guess I should embrace it.
On the romantic front, I don't feel any closer to wanting a more permanent situation than I have in the past few years. Just not ready. I like things the way they are.
Work is okay and there are many changes happening. I'm okay with that. I think it might actually improve things. I have a superior who is incapable of making decisions and it drives all the staff crazy.
I've been toying with a New Year's resolution to not swear this year, or at least use the "F" word as I feel I may have overused it this past year. Frustration plays a big part in that! I shared this with a co-worker and she said "Why?" She thinks its an absolutely wonderful word and uses it more than I do. The ironic part is that she's such a conservative looking lady, strict Irish Catholic. I still think I need to make an effort to stop using that word and some associated with it.
Lastly, I need to pay more attention to me. I'm turning the big 5-0 in 19 days and I need to spend more time on what I want, pampering myself, being healthy of mind and body.
My girlfriends and I went out on Monday to celebrate the holidays and our mutual 50th birthdays and went to this little diner that doesn't look like much but had a wonderful menu. My one friend who is already 50 let the owner in on our birthdays and the whole diner sang to us. It was corny, it was funny, it was heart-warming. My girlfriend who I share a birthday with was teary-eyed the whole time as the birthday thing has her wigged out. She's not happy about her life, where she's been and where she's going. I can honestly say, there's nothing in the past that I regret or would change - its made me who I am. And not knowing what will happen in the future is okay too. I'm hoping and working towards making things the way I'd like them. I'm forging ahead. It may work out, it may not. I'll have to wait and see but I do know that I'm gonna keep forging ahead and trying to make the best out of it all. I'm hopeful.
Happy New Years! Forge ahead!
