While you were sleeping...

Dad sleeps a lot...because of the drugs and their inability to get them just right from when he was sleep deprived. Therefore he misses out on rehab. It's been 9 weeks and his mood his very down. In fact, I do believe he's given up. We're trying to treat that too.

He is scheduled to be transported this week to a special care facility who should be able to rehabilitate him, help him breathe on his own, as he's back on the vent. A weary, tired dad was losing ground from fatigue and ended up back on the vent. And now anxiety prevents him from breathing well.

The last week or two has been an emotional roller coaster. Hopefully we'll gain ground once he's at the new place. My fear is that he is now so tired the rigors of the new place will "break" him as he is already in a fragile state of mind.

He also plays possum. I do believe at times he is awake and chooses to keep his eyes closed and is taking everything in that goes on around him. I can tell when he's doing it and so can mom. She's the one that showed me his little trick. I call it, he's being "invisible." Can't deal or doesn't want to deal so if you're "asleep" people won't know to interact with you. Sly.

the kindness of strangers

I must have looked like I needed it because a strange woman, at the hospital, approached me and gave me a big hug and I surrendered and hugged her back the biggest hug. She too was just a family member of a patient.

I don't know her name. I've never seen her before. I'll probably never see her again. We said almost nothing to one another. Just her reaching out and offering a hug.

Oh Nurse

So my mother has spent an occasional night sleeping at the hospital in the past week and a half. You really can't imagine. She suctions him. She does physical therapy on his limbs. She lotions him up. She resorted to staying when the drugs were making him crazy and scared.

Well I picked her up this morning to go home and get some things done because the Physician's Assistant on the floor noticed what a nice night he had (he wouldn't say without the sleep drugs my mother noted) and asked her if she would consider staying at night for about a week to get him back on a schedule of sleeping at night and being awake during the day but told her she would then have to go home during the day to take a break. He asked if she was up to it and she said yes.

I told my sister yesterday, she's tougher than the two of us together.

Happy Father's Day to all the blogging dads! Have a wonderful day!

The Incredible Hulk

The drugs they were giving my father to sleep had a reverse effect and a BAD effect on him and turned him into the Incredible Hulk. CRAZY!

My mother had to tell them to STOP giving him sleep cocktails. He's so sleep deprived, but one night they'd try something and it wouldn't work and the next day they'd try something else and it was having a rebound effect on him. No sleep and crazy and strong and paranoid.

He's seems okay today - he slept for more than a day and now he's awake and you can tell he won't sleep again anytime soon. He just wants out and doesn't know why he can't go home. And all of this delays physical therapy and steps to push forward.

So as much as mom can be a big pain in the a$$, dad should thank her (when he's in his right mind and can appreciate it) because she's there for him (literally - resorted to sleeping there to keep him calm when he had a case of the crazies) and goes to bat for him (a couple of P.A.'s might not be happy with her right now as they have to go through his surgeon to do anything to him in regards to meds) but it would have gotten much worse had she not taken steps she took.

She's packed to stay for the night. I honestly hoped he would have been home by Father's Day.

This is a variation of drinking and dialing....

Had a few Teenies when I got home from the hospital. Of course, I get home late, like 7:30pm or so because I stop by after work and then drive mom home. Mom! Wouldn't be having martini's if mom was behaving. Called my sister and asked her where. Where will the cocktails be? Her house or mine or somewhere else? I'm flexible if nothing else.

So I told her the tale of the day...because she couldn't be there - she had 8th grade graduation for her daughter. I texted her from the hospital and simply said "She's going to get herself kicked out of here!"

She's so helpful and so doting that her knowledge these past 6 weeks (6 weeks today) has become dangerous. She knows more than everyone else and tells them how to do their jobs. I walked out of the room today and headed to the family room because I couldn't stand it. I felt bad for the incompetent nurses' aide. Yes, I'll agree, she was a little incompetent but when you're as intimidating as my mother can be at times, that won't make it any better. The poor girl was already tripping over her own feet and a stern, angry 76-year old being pissed off at ya isn't gonna make you do a better job. It just made her paralyzed. I tried to explain to my mother that a better way to handle it would have been to collect her name and speak to the head nurse if something displeased her.

Oy!

Mercury Retrograde

Mercury Retrograde can wreak havoc on communications. I'm experiencing this with my mother and second hand medical information as she tries to tell it to me. Now this is nothing new - she always seems to hear it straight in her own head and can't understand why I don't understand what she's telling me resulting in her telling me 'You're not listening' or her kind way of blaming me by saying 'We're having a miscommunication.' Now, I'd like to blame it on her age, but it's really more a cultural thing for her and she's always been that way. When I say cultural thing, don't get me wrong...she's not off-the-boat Italian and doesn't speak broken-english. She was born in New York and really can't remember her Italian at all anymore. Mix that with some stubborness and a dash of convolutions.

So hopefully, what I think I heard from her yesterday and she retracts today is that dad is supposed to be getting taken off the ventilator completely and moving to a Step Down Area later this evening. Progress.

CNN headlines state today, due to her arrest for purchasing crack cocaine, that in 2004 Tatum O'Neil was quoted as saying 'Drugs were always around me.' Is that a cop out? I grew up in the 70's. Drugs were every where around me...at school. Hmpf.

The Sex and the City movie, if you're a fan, was great! Of course, it was all die-hard fans in the audience. Such fun. Me and my two friends walked over to an Italian restaurant after the movie and proceeded to the bar and ordered Cosmopolitans. The bartender, who looked like a character from out of the movie, rolled his eyes and said, 'Have you ever had them before?' We giggled and said yes. Apparently since the movie started they've been getting a lot of customers for dinner before or after the movie ordering Cosmos who have never had them before and not liking them, or thinking they're too strong and returning them. I told him that wouldn't be a problem...to bring them on! We had a lovely dinner and cocktails.