The Ex

So I had another dream about the guy that was in between the ex and the beau again last night. I wake up so annoyed with myself for not being able to forget him!

The ex came over after work to pay me...CASH...because the check he gave me a week and a half ago was returned to his account for insufficient funds on his account and the bastards had the gall to charge ME $10. So I called him today to tell him to check his bank statement online because I was sure he didn't know about any of it yet. And of course at first he didn't want to believe it and then he just plain pushed my buttons and pretended he didn't owe me because he already paid me when I said "now you owe me that check and last week's check." So he promptly came over and gave me cash for both those weeks and then had a beer and was telling me a story in the kitchen when the beau came in. So we all chatted and then the ex exited through the garage and he and I looked in a cabinet out there that had boat oil and cleaners and fluids and he separated what he thought was old for me to get rid of and took a couple things that are for his boat.

Let me back track for a second. The beau bought a used riding mower that looked like it had never been used but sat for about 18 months. He thought he ruined it using starter fluid in the carbeurator because it was smoking and then while I was on vacation bought a brand new one from Sears and offered the older mower to the ex. He was only going to sell it for parts for $50 but gave it to the ex, especially seeing how the ex gave me the little blue car in June. Well the ex knew he could fix it and turn around and sell it for possibly $800 and he didn't even do the work himself but gave it to someone to fix for him and it only cost him $75. He told the beau he was going to fix it and sell it as the ex's girlfriend's yard is so small he wouldn't even need it for her yard. So while the ex is cleaning out the fluids out of the cabinet he runs across starter fluid and holds it up to my face and says, "Let's save this for Chris" trying to be a funny wise ass and I have to admit, it did crack me up.

Of course he thinks the beau is a "suit" who shouldn't work with motors since the mower episode and I know this because his best friend that I went "pubbing" with last week implied that they both thought that he really screwed up the mower using the starter fluid.

And then I'm coaching the ex telling him that when he misses my daughter, instead of lecturing her for not calling when he comes over, to simply pick up the phone and make the call. I showed him the calendar that shows her school, cheerleading and work schedule and he said he understands but a call would be nice. So I reiterated that he's the adult and instead of trying to make her feel guilty to just pick up the phone and he said, "I know honey."

I totally giggled on the inside and he never knew he said it which was even funnier to me. I like when we get along. It was only a week or two ago when we had the misunderstanding about not being included in the cheerleading function that he admitted he wouldn't go to anyway.

Sunday Yard Work

Look what we found! We're cleaning out a spot next to the big boat for the little boat and when the beau moved some stuff I yelled and ran (because I was now too close) "Possum!" We found a mother and her baby and we continued to clean and ignored them and eventually the mother got scared enough to run into the woods. But to my dismay she ran without taking her baby! I'm certain she'll come back for the baby - but it bothered me just the same. That was not what I hoped would happen. Click to enlarge.

Dreams

The beau and I had pizza with neighbors last night that reached out to us. They're very nice and we had fun talking with them. I met the woman when she was walking her dog one early very brisk morning. She's been a mystery to me ever since.

We came home and went to bed. This morning I had a bad dream that woke me. I fell in love somewhere in between the husband and the beau and the s.o.b. still haunts me...in my mind. I can't seem to wish him away which only makes me angrier that things didn't turn out the way I had wanted them to. I mean, I know now that it was a gift but my heart has never been the same, and I really don't think it ever will be. This is what makes it difficult for me to move forward.

My mom is still in the hospital but doing fine. She's antsy to get out. I think it could be another couple days as they try to get the drug levels just right before being comfortable with releasing her. She mentioned to me yesterday her concern about the long walk from Disney to Epcot Thanksgiving Week. We have dinner plans in "Japan" on Thanksgiving Day and its a long walk to Japan and she's afraid she'll slow us down or she won't be up to it. I assured her that I'd "roll" her ass there if that's what she wanted!

Once again as with the recent cruise, mom and dad are treating us to vacation and thought it would be fun to go to Disney for the holiday. They're also looking into another cruise next year when the kids get out of school. This all ties in with her current stay in the hospital. They're getting older, she worries about my dad's health as he had bypass surgery about 20 years ago and she fears the docs want to open him up again to replace a valve. I think she quietly worries and this self-induced stress landed her in the hospital with a stress cardiomyopathy that mimicked a heart attack. See...stress CAN kill you.

Her condition is completely reversible and she has NO heart damage and has NO blocked arteries. But she needs rest and meds and probably needs NOT to become stressed to get past this. She managed to raise her heart rate the other day which resulted in a team of professionals racing to her room. She didn't see why a particular nurse insisted on giving her reflux and stomach meds when she doesn't have a problem with either. (I agree.) She worked herself up into a tizzy, but she won. She doesn't take them anymore! I'm sure at 75 some people treat you like you're old and no longer able to make these decisions for yourself. She explained to the nurse to feel free to give her meds for her heart and blood pressure because that's what she's having a problem with now, but don't mess with her stomach and bowels because she DOES NOT have a problem with that! I say GO MOM!

Playing Hooky

I'd like to make it sound attractive like I'm doing something special but the truth is my mom went to the Emergency Department Saturday and it appeared she had a mild heart attack. Right now it seems she has Takotsubo disease. Hard to imagine my mom has stress but my sister said that the article the doctor gave her pegs her to a "T". I just confirmed that she did not have a heart attack but this syndrome mimics a heart attack. That's the good news! Rest and meds can reverse this. The heart muscle currently is not performing properly but there are NO blocked arteries.

Apparently it was raining the other day when they took their weekly jaunt to the casino. It was raining so hard they could not see and my mother became very upset. They have determined that this was the onset of the whole situation. Go figure? You have to know my mother is a strong woman, not a stress-bag, has always been healthy, I've never seen her sick or horizontal on a couch, eats right, drinks lots of water. Both my parents are 75 and I think she feels the stress of aging and mortality especially as she looks out for my dad who did have bypass surgery about 20 years ago and the docs currently read his chart and question some things - I think this silently upsets her. My clue: we just came back from a family vacation - the cruise we took - and they've already planned another family vacation for us during Thanksgiving week and also are planning another cruise for next Summer when the kids get out of school.

Also today is my prep day as I'm having a colonoscopy (and endoscopy) tomorrow. I'm on liquids all day today and at 5 p.m. I start to drink the concoction the doctor's office ordered for me prior to my procedure tomorrow morning. I can't wait for my drug-induced nap when I get home!

Ya Ya

This evening is the Second Coming of Ya Ya. This is the second annual gathering where I prepare some of my favorite appetizers, entrees, desserts and cocktails and the girls come over and we create a little magick. There's a couple blogger friends I wish could be here as well. First Ya Ya Party photo here.

It's mid-day and I've prepared all my dishes for tonight. Now I will clean and gather the fire wood as we will have a ceremony and put our personal thoughts on paper and throw them in the fire pit to rid ourselves of negativity. We will also do a little candle magick to bring positive thoughts to us.

Last year we did this in July but I'm glad we waited for the cooler weather. I only wish we were able to do this on the full moon. It rained last night and cleared up a short while ago. It should be about 50 degrees tonight.

I'll take photographs! For those of my blogger friends that can't be here, go outside around 8:p.m. EST and look at the sky and face eastward and silently or loudly proclaim "Ya Ya" and we will as well.

How I Really Feel Friday - Pizza Friday

How I Really Feel - a little dehydrated today :)

I can't wait for the pizza to get here!

See what a pedicure can lead to?

Let me post this while still in the haze of the four lemon drops (shots) and beer.

I left work and had my whole evening planned. The beau was going to be out and the kid had to work even though she's really sick and shouldn't. I was going to get a pedicure because I have a colonoscopy next Tuesday and I want to put my best foot forward (LOL). And then I was going to come home and plan my Ya Ya party that I'm having with my girlfriends Saturday night.

So there I am at the tail end of my pedicure...Did I mention there's a bar next door? And in walks my ex's best friend. He saw my little car parked at the opposite end of the parking lot from where his car was parked when he went outside to have a smoke, comes in the salon and yells out "Hey!" "Are you gonna come next door when you're done and have a beer with me?" I laugh and make him come closer because he's literally yelling across the joint as if it was poison to come any closer. So when I'm done, wearing the little oriental flip flops because my toes haven't completely dried yet, I shuffle to the bar next door and have a beer with JOE. Did I mention that Joe had a long term relationship with MY best friend, one of the girls whose coming to the Ya Ya Party Saturday evening?

So Joe and I haven't seen each other at all since the divorce in 2004 but have seen each other twice in the past week. He came over with the ex to pick up a broken riding mower that I gave him the night he saw me and the beau and the kid leaving for the cheerleading event. So I got a little drunken insight into the mind of the ex from Joe who had plenty of drinks before I connected with him. Apparently it's all an ego thing. As if I didn't know that. He did admit to Joe that he wouldn't have gone to the event but was hurt because he wasn't invited/asked.

Where to start? Joe blurts out "Brian got kicked out of Judy's two weeks ago." And I'm thinking....it's all starting to making sense to me now. Don't get ahead of me, he's already back with Judy. I'm thinking WOW. I say, "Why, what'd he do?" Joe says, "I don't know." I reply, "Well he must have been partying, or came home late, or went out too many nights in a row. Because what else could it be? He wouldn't cheat." Joe agrees.

Interesting. It seems Judy is smarter than me :)

I ask, how did he get kicked out/locked out if he has a key. He mostly lives there with her. Joe says she locked the dead bolt. I'm thinking, she is smarter...he has a key but not to the dead bolt. It sounds like she has experience at this! I chuckle. Then Joe tells me how he breaks in to get his stuff. Apparently went back the next night when she wouldn't let him in (she must have been at work) and did the same thing. Probably jimmied a window to get in and get his stuff.

Anyway, the two of us reminisced over beer and a few shots about him missing my girlfriend, who is now unhappily married and what a dumb ass Brian is. Good stuff.

We truly had a lot of laughs and so much fun. We left the first bar and went to a 2nd bar. I drove. He wanted me to drive his little sports car but I figured if we left in his car and I didn't have my car, I'd never get home when I wanted to. He was holding me hostage way longer than I expected already!

Well, we decided what happens in TOWN stays in TOWN because Brian would be pissed at him if he knew we went out drinking together and more importantly I realized he would know immediately that Joe told me he got kicked out of Judy's two weeks ago and we can't let that cat out of the bag!

Now if I could just get my girlfriend to divorce the cement shoes she's been wearing these past couple years and then wave my magic wand and grant Joe's wish that he get his "girl" back, life would be almost perfect.

Okay enough of this. I haven't had dinner and scoffed down a piece of bread while blogging and proceeded to eat the Reese's out of my daughter's Ben and Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup ice cream.

Did I mention that in the 2nd bar I recognized a girl I went to elementary school with. Of course, I stopped her and told her who I was and she remembered too. Good times. I don't get out (to the bars) nearly enough apparently.

I think this was the precursor to my Ya Ya party.

Sidebar: I almost never drink. Why do I have to drink tonight and again on Saturday night when I really plan to let loose, 3 days before a colonoscopy? Will they know? Oh well, TTFN.

Hump Day

My ex called me this morning while I was driving into work with "hurt" feelings. How come he wasn't invited to the Cheerleading pasta dinner last night. He came over last evening as me and the beau and the kid were leaving.

I told him it was last minute and I made the beau go. Anyway he was hurt - "she doesn't call me" "you can pay for the car insurance" blah, blah, blah He hung up - hurt - won't take calls.

I just sent him a text message: "Would you like to trade places with me? You live with her and you pay $50 for a pasta dinner that lasts 2 hours too long. Call me when you're ready to talk. I dare you to trade places with me."

I will challenge him - he can trade places with me for a month - I'll let him live in the house, pay for everything, etc. etc. and deal with it all - I will live elsewhere for the experiment. Let's see how long he lasts.

Ya know, he doesn't learn - follow by example. He wants her to call him, yet he makes plans and doesn't call to change them or say he's not coming....he just doesn't call.

He hates going to that cheerleading stuff, unless its for competition. If he feels like he's missing out on something then he should make more of an effort. If he's upset with her, don't call me and ruin my day and try to make me feel guilty. I can't run interference for him the rest of my life. I don't have the energy.

Is it about car insurance because now you're dangling that over my head because your upset? I could give a shit. I'll pay for the fukin insurance just not to receive these phone calls.

Is it about the kid and you not seeing enough of each other, about car insurance, about cheerleading, about the beau got to go to the Pasta dinner and you didn't? Do I look like Tinkerbell? I can't fix it all. I'm tired of trying to fix everything.

How I Really Feel Friday

B R O K E!
Got paid today, already broke!