Confirmation

Everything went well today - everyone played together nicely - my daughter looked beautiful. Photo above is my daughter on left, my niece and my ex lurking in the background.
The interesting thing about this photo is that the 3 of them are all eyes.

How I Really Feel Friday ~ busy weekend

It's Friday morning and I stayed home to clean because my daughter's confirmation is tomorrow morning. Sipping coffee and listening to "Landslide" being sung sweetly in the background by Stevie Nicks on one of the morning shows.

I have a full day ahead of me and need to get motivated. Confirmation is tomorrow morning at 10:00 a.m. and then everyone comes back here for lunch and celebration including the ex and his mother. My mother guilted me into doing the right thing and inviting them to come back to the house. I hesitated only because of the fiasco back in February for my daughter's birthday when I invited him and he got mad at me and had hurt feelings because my beau would be here. Kids, kids, kids...sometimes we can't all play together well. Well, of course, nothing has changed, we'll all be here tomorrow but sometimes a little perspective can straighten our ass out. He isn't bringing his girlfriend. Not sure if its because she works in retail and is working or if its more comfortable for him not to bring her where he used to live.

So of course I'm going overboard. I ordered the main entrees so they will arrive when we get back from church but I shopped early this morning for antipasto items and salad and there will be champagne! (I may need to drink tomorrow to ease my anxiety - ha!) I also stayed up late last night to create DVD's of my niece's recent trip to Italy. I made slide shows of her photographs and set them to Italian music so we could watch them tomorrow. I thought this was a good plan just in case it gets awkward tomorrow.

My beau and I are going to a dinner show tonight. The show is a comedic hypnotist. You know, where you volunteer to get up and make a fool of yourself in front of your friends. I can't wait. I'm going to play instigator and see who I can get to go up from our group of friends.

The way I really feel is slight anxiety about tomorrow back at the house (worrying about how the ex is holding up and overcompensating by paying him more attention than to my beau) and know I'm going to be exhausted from breaking my back cleaning today, going out tonight when I should probably stay home. And then again, agreeing to go out tomorrow night as well with friends. It's going to be a blur. But some good photos should come out of it and I will post the cream of the crop. Maybe I'll cultivate a photo of the ex-mom-in-law saying something that makes me down a shot, or a photo of my friend under the spell of the hypnotist acting like a monkey.

Oy! Have a good weekend and I'll post the results of the day.

Pisa - March 2007

Raspberry HNT

Alternate Title: "Fun with Fruit"

Hollz Tagged Me...

A - Available or Single? Single but not available

B - Best Friends? Sue and Linda

C - Cake or Pie? Cake

D - Drink of Choice? Water

E - Essential Item? Computer

F - Favorite Color? Blue

G - Gummi Bears or Worms? Bears

H - Hometown? The middle of Connecticut

I - Indulgence? Pampering, i.e.) pedicure, massage, etc.

J - January or February? January

K - Kids and Names? One daughter and she has a name

L - Life is incomplete without? Love

M - Marriage Date? 5/26/86

N - Number of Siblings? 1 sister

O - Oranges or Apples? Apples

P - Phobias/Fears? No fears

Q - Favorite Quote? Too early to think of a clever quote

R - Reasons to smile? Waking up

S - Season? Fall

T - Tag 3 People: Tag yourself

U - Unknown Fact About Me? There all unknown to you guys

V - Vegetable You Hate? Don't hate on vegetables!

W - Worst Habit? smoking (but its not my habit)

X - X-rays You've Had? ankle, mams

Y - Your Favorite Foods? Pizza

Z - Zodiac? Aquarius

Sexy Meme

I "lifted" this from Vixen...feel free to do the same and comment to let me know you played.

1. How old were you when you lost your virginity? Who was it to? Describe the event.
17, between my junior and senior year. H.S. sweetheart. A long awaited affair. Therefore passionate.

2. What is the strangest place you’ve had sex?
Hard to remember strangest but the first one that comes to mind is the men’s outside shower at a Cape Cod campsite (with the ex before we were married). It was funny when some guy came in to shower.

3. Who would you consider “switching teams” for?
Jennifer Aniston.

4. Do you prefer to give or receive?
Well it’s fun to receive but it’s satisfying to give as well.

5. One night stands- What’s the protocol? Stay the night or get the hell outta there?
I say get the hell out of there.

6. Favourite body part/parts of the opposite sex?
The smile.

7. Quickie or long and slow?
Lots of foreplay and then a Quickie.

8. Noisy or quiet?
Noisy!

9. Ideal amount of sex per week?
Once a day is perfect.

10. What’s your number one sexual turn off?
Controlling and/or aggressive personalities.

11. Number one arousal trigger?
Flirting.

12. What constitutes bad sex?
Awkwardness.

13. Celebrity you would love to shag right now?
Keeanu Reeves.

14. Define sexy?
Confidence is sexy. I like the unobvious types. The cool types. Unpretentious.

15. Remember the best sex you ever had. What made it special?
Honestly what made it special was the connection between that person and me.

New Puppy

Ikea was great. We also went to Christmas Tree Shop and Trader Joe's.
My girlfriend's new puppy, Ben (Benson).

How I Really Feel Friday ~ the week in review

Thank God it's Friday!!!

The ploy with the old b-friend seemed to work - communication has fallen off to a brief once a week e-mail and I suspect it will fall off more :) to an occasional e-mail now that we've caught up with the last 25 years worth of stuff.

Work sux - need I say more?

My b-friend flew to Tampa today to visit his kids. It's his son's birthday. So my boyfriend for the weekend is Mitch - my male kitteh. See photo below.
My ovaries are killing me (tee hee). PMS, cramps! I'm making tea and going to bed to watch my week's worth of The View on VHS. I like the controversy.

My girlfriends and I are taking a trip to Ikea tomorrow. It's a reason to get together, have lunch, shop and then go back to my friend's house and have a cocktail. I'll post pictures of the venture and of her new puppy Ben, the 8 week old Lab. A.k.a. Osama Bin Puppy! This is the girl who's 11 year old Lab Bailey died not so long ago.

My daughter is at a sleepover so I have the place to myself - sweet peace.

As Greta Garbo used to say "I vant to be alone." Boyfriend free weekend, kid free night ... me and my PMS will be just dandy all alone!

Have a great weekend everyone and steer clear from scary beotches with PMS!

Double Your Pleasure HNT

Double your pleasure...Vixen and I agreed to post wet tee shirt photos of ourselves - see me ~ see her...and enjoy!

See the man to see what HNT is all about!

How I Really Feel Friday ~ the old boyfriends always turn up

Exactly two weeks ago I was reading the online obits from the local paper and I noticed that an old boyfriend's dad had passed. I signed the online guest book and included that the family could see my e-mail address.

A brave move for me, as this was the only boyfriend I've ever had that I didn't keep communication or really good terms with after we parted. He was so angry when we broke up that we didn't communicate. Our lives moved on, we married, had children, etc. and bumped into one another many years ago at another friend's parent's wake where for the first time since we broke up we spoke on friendly terms.

Well, lo and behold about 3 days after I signed the guest book I got an e-mail from that boyfriend thanking me for the kind words I left. We've been communicating through e-mail ever since and we've spoken on the phone a few times. He is still married and come to find out has not told the wife we are communicating because he thinks she will be "weird" about it. I asked him about that because I like his wife and don't want to be secretive but I guess it's easier for him and spouses just don't accept friendships with members of the opposite sex, especially an old girlfriend.

I on the other hand have told everyone in my family including my boyfriend that I'm trading e-mails with this person. My theory is, I'm telling you and if you don't like it...oh well. I wouldn't have told you if there were anything to it.

We've been catching up on family, friends, and trading photos of the kids. It's been a lot of fun. I'm relieved we can finally be friends. Today our conversation was really interesting because it came around to why we didn't get married or why we broke up. It's interesting to me to see how different people have different memories of things and how different those memories can be.

As innocent as it all is I worry that he'll get himself in trouble with his wife and over nothing. I know his intentions are pure (he was the most loyal person I know) but you guys know that talking over the internet and such has an air of mystique to it and before you know it you're "liking" on the person on the other end. I don't want him to romanticize this. I've been wondering how to undermine the whole thing so he doesn't put a value on the friendship that seems so important that he should be found out and get himself in trouble. First of all, it surprised me for him to continue talking to me this long and to not tell his wife. Not his style at all. But I know its fun connecting with an old friend and the talks are interesting and I think we all fill a need we may be lacking somewhere else. For him, I think it's the conversation. A mutual girlfriend, when we were first dating, had said to me, "he can be really intense and deep and I know you can handle it."

So today I started planting the seeds to undermine myself a bit. He might be too smart for this but we'll see.

But how I really feel about it all is, it's been fun and interesting and intense in the sense that the conversation is dynamic. Remember I said we all fill a need....my boyfriend is soooo quiet you have to pull idle conversation out of him. And once you renew a friendship and when it's new you can't wait for the next time to talk again so you can cover ground not previously covered. Especially now that we're talking about our past together - we're understanding for the first time why things went down the way they did. What seemed especially important for him is why I left him. Kudos to me for tact and the skill of maintaining a man's ego. I understand his wanting to know and understand that because I desperately want to understand why someone else broke up with me going back a while. It's easier to move on if you know the truth.

Now I know what you're all thinking but be real - been there, done that. Left once before. In fact, if I didn't like him so much as a person or worry about what he could potentially do to his relationship by taking the trust away, I wouldn't try to undermine the new friendship. I think it's the only way to push him away without him relieving the past break-up. If I was nice about it he may see that as noble and find more reason to like me so I may just have to repel him intentionally. Haven't you ever made a new friend of the opposite sex and all of a sudden you start to find things not to like about your mate. I don't want that to happen. I know, I should give him more credit than that but I don't want to take any chances.

White Tee HNT

Happy HNT!

How do you like the new look of my blog?

If you want to know all about HNT - see the master at
Views from the Back Row

New Template

I gave my blog an overhaul. A few minor tweaks and I'll be happy.

PLEEZ...with all that I did in insuring not to lose customizations, the only thing I can't get right is to get the title of the blog somewhere around the graphic at the top of the page.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Feel free to comment here or e-mail me. Thanks Friends!

Addendum: I spend quite a bit of time trying to get the title at the head of the page and the most it would let me do is put the title beneath the graphic but above the profile area.

The only other thing I miss is the heading "Current Posts" so you can click that heading and get back to the most recent of posts.

Let me know if you like the new look!

How I Really Feel Friday ~ A Bitter Pill to Swallow

My ex (exasperated) shares too much, but always has. He has a new job. He stopped by yesterday and was quite chatty and we talked about the new job. Mind you, I used to encourage him to ditch the Union and take a job like he has now because he spent many years unemployed for long stretches. On occasion as long as a year or more once or so. Not so bad but he wasn't the house husband type either so things at home weren't getting done either. Granted he took a $10/hour cut in pay BUT he will collect a check for 52 weeks of the year.

It seems he doesn't party either much anymore as well. Great...seems like he's cleaned up the act a bit. Now that he has a girlfriend and all. I mean 18 years of nonsense for me...the doormat apparently. Busting my a$$ working, coming home, running to do errands and groceries, cleaning up the mess at home from the unemployed husband who didn't do those sorts of things, and/or take care of the child when she was small, and/or couldn't because he partied too much.

So he shows me his pay stub and is asking me once again for help in reading it correctly as far as why his vacation time wouldn't show up, etc. I can't help but notice he's using the girlfriend's address on his pay stub. So I ask him, does he stay there all the time now? No, he replies, I go back and forth but needed to put her address because they let him put her on his health insurance and her health insurance was expensive. Hmmm. No comment from me.

(Thoughts spinning inside my head but never verbalize) Don't insure my child. I'll do that. Always have. Glad ya cleaned up your act. Thanks for torturing me all those years...I've known some stray cats that behaved better. No resentment here. I'm sure this girl has never seen that side of him.

I know you promised my kid your car to drive around in. I told you not to make promises you can't keep. Kept promising. Now that car is going to the girlfriend to drive and the girlfriend's car is coming to your kid. The two door small car that a new driver should not be driving. A standard shift that the kid can't drive. Yes, I want that car parked in my driveway. Oh yes, I'll help you insure that car. (Not.)

Even if we're in our own relationship and relatively happy, these things bother us. I look at him standing in my kitchen and am happy that he seems motivated by this new job. I coach him to help him along. He turns to me for this as he knows I can do this for him. I continue to watch him and am quietly thinking, he's cute, he finally seems to be not partying and putting work first. Knots in my stomach each time he casually mentions the girlfriend's name. Quietly wondering why couldn't he had been like this for me. Anger inside because I know he still doesn't understand that these were the problems that led to the divorce. Quietly chewing on it all.

Is it Summer yet? HNT

Happy HNT! To see what it's all about...go here: Osbasso